Dominick A. Barbara

The Art of Listening Dominick A. Barbara

There is an art of listening. To be able really to listen, one should abandon or put aside all prejudices, pre-formulations and daily activities. When you are in a receptive state of mind, things can be easily understood; you are listening when your real attention is given to something. But unfortunately most of us listen through a screen of resistance. We are screened with prejudices, whether religious or spiritual, psychological or scientific; or with our daily worries, desires and fears. And with these for a screen, we listen. Therefore, we listen really to our own noise, to our own sound, not to what is being said. It is extremely difficult to put aside our training, our prejudices, our inclination, our resistance, and, reaching beyond the verbal expression, to listen so that we understand instantaneously. That is going to be one of our difficulties. The more we take our growth seriously, the more we will develop the desire to do so. And the more we get rid of our own neurotic shackles, the freer we will become to grow within ourselves, and to love and have concern for others. Thus we shall acquire a rational faith which will have the certainty and firmness of our own convictions, and this will pervade our entire concept of life. For listening to be effective as an art, we must be active participants in its whole process. This means not only working just through our ears. It also means responding holistically with our full hearing capacity and our inner perceptions. It entails being fully attentive and awake, alert at every minute to screen out inner prejudices, condemnations or preconceived notions. It means being active in thought and feeling and with one's eyes and ears to avoid inertia. It means being open and receptive to others. It demands of us an enhanced vitality, an aliveness, and a firm desire to commune with others. With all this in hand, we shall grow healthily as human beings, able to influence others with meaning. So we shall arrive at a sustained level of mutual and truthful communication