Charmaine T. Davis

The Red House: Almost a Memoir Charmaine T. Davis

Country living is not what it's cracked up to be! The Red House: Almost A Memoir is a family comedy that takes place in the 1980s in the foothills of Virginia. The Douglases give up their modern house to live on the home place--a decrepit log cabin dressed in red tar paper. The house has no indoor plumbing, and trips to the spring for water and to the Johnny-house for relief are a far cry from the central air and MTV other people in town enjoy. Flying chickens, resilient roaches, humiliating hooptys, crazy relatives and runaway mules are just some of the hilarious hi-jinks in what is supposed to be a quiet life in the country. Country housing: "The Red House had roaches. Long, flat brown ones ? with wings. We didn?t know they could fly until we were having supper one day." Country fashion: "If I stepped wide enough maybe the panty hose would stay up until I could get to the bathroom." Country entertainment: ?Grab that skinny one in the corner. He oughta fly real good.? Country relatives: ?Watch yourself, boy! We still paying off your rabies shot.? Country vacations: "You brought your own housing...and food and shampoo and towels and sheets." Country revivals: "We gonna start promptly at seven o?clock, so be sure to take care of all your bodily needs and functions." Country shopping: ?Don?t steal nothin' and don?t sit on the toilet.? Country dining at its best: "The day he mentioned stewed possum, Mama told him, ?Don?t even think about puttin' somethin' that nasty in one of my pots. We may be country but we ain?t that country.?