Steven Quentin Cumber

The Last Pickle Famine Steven Quentin Cumber

Steven Q. Cumber is a 39 year old city-hardened guy, born and bred on the mean streets of Jersey City, New Jersey. In spite of his rough and tumble upbringing, Steve had hopeful dreams and showed youthful potential. He was certain that as our President he would be uniquely qualified to pull the world back from the brink of doom and lead us into a golden age of humanity. But the streets speak loudly, even to the best of us. Steve stole a pack of gum from local store proprietor, old dead one-eyed Ed. He picked his nose and ate it on camera for all posterity. And he went spectacularly off the deep end with the drugs and the booze when he fell painfully in love with the beautiful young man-eater, Murphy Marble. Given this, you were certain to say that Steve was no longer presidential material. Shame on you for your short-sightedness. You'd better hope that this Steve, the spineless, back stabbing, bottom dwelling, scum sucking, ass kissing, litterbug of a schmo, can rise from the gutter and find a way to fulfill his promise. The fate of the world may very well depend upon it.